The Next Dark Age
We're in it Now
The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin
Book 36
I have a lot of other books to log, but there was a passage from this one that I don’t want to forget. So:
I have been sort of meditating on the concept of happiness for awhile. Personal fulfillment and the meaning of life or whatever. One of the perils of not having children is that the answer to the question, “What is the purpose of my life?” is not a no-brainer.
I don’t have the world’s best life, but it has been ridiculously privileged so I have come to the conclusion that it would be an insult to the Whatever High Atop the Thing to fritter it away being cranky about my utterly first world problems.
Gretchen Rubin started The Happiness Project with a similar line of thinking. Married with two kids, in Manhattan, professional writer, functional relationships with the families and solid friendships. But she too often felt irritable or guilty or insecure – and that she didn’t spend enough time focusing on the great things in her life.
Yeah, Hello!
Rubin spent a year reading books and trying different things and coming to lots of conclusions. Common themes involved Act the way you want to feel and Making others happy will make you happy.
True and True.
She was very systematic about the whole thing and made a whole lot of resolutions with varying degrees of success. There were several times in the book where I just wanted to slap her, but really? I can’t judge. I totally get the being irritable over nonsense. You should see me on Palatine Road about 4pm. Every damn day.
So good on her for recognizing and trying to change this thing she didn’t like about herself. And Holy Good for putting it out there where the judgy people are going to judge. Anyway, this was the passage:
“…We nonjoyous types suck energy and cheer from the joyous ones; we rely on them to buoy us with their good spirit and to cushion our agitation and anxiety. At the same time, because of a dark element in human nature, we’re sometimes provoked to try to shake the enthusiastic, cheery folk out of their fog of illusion – to make them see that the play was stupid, the money was wasted, the meeting was pointless. Instead of shielding their joy, we blast it. Why is this? I have no idea. But that impulse is there.”
I don’t know that I am ever going to be a Joyous Person, but damned if I am going to be the one to suck the energy and cheer from those that are.
Department Outing
It is not news that my employer freakin’ rocks. That’s why I work there. Small perk: each year every department has a budget to do a group outing. Most departments just do a long lunch somewhere, but my people – most of us, anyway – want to do something. A couple of years ago, we went to Gameworks. When one person left right after we ate, and another pocketed the game card to give to the grandchildren, we were pretty disappointed. So.
Where do you go when most people want to do something, but others just want to eat? My friend and colleague remembered her kid once going to a party at Morkes Chocolate in Palatine. It was very easily within the budget and I voted Yes.
When you walk in the door, it looks like a better than average chocolate store. Then they have the party room in the back. Where we found a table full of these:
We were each asked if we preferred milk or dark chocolate. When I am eating it straight up, I prefer milk chocolate. But something told me that with all of this sugar, I’d better go dark. We were all sort of staring in awe at our trays, and when the staff came back with our fondue cups, one remarked, “This is the quietest group I have ever had.” Because we aren’t six. And we didn’t have any sugar in us yet. According to my phone, it took about thirty minutes to turn that tray into this:
I texted this pic to my mother, Kay, who told me to leave it at the office.
I am pretty sure dark chocolate was the correct decision. It was funny watching how each person attacked the project. I was going for neatness. Not because I am particularly neat or even artistic. I just didn’t want to embarrass myself by making a mess. Also, in the great scheme of eating chocolate covered things, I like to know what I am eating. So I didn’t fully coat anything. My boss went for efficiency and was finished first. In hindsight, he said that his method made for some really thick chocolate. The best of us was C, who said she had experience from working in a doughnut shop. Awesome. Next up was truffle making. We started with empty shells:
Then filled them with..truffle filling and topped them with..stuff. I picked peanuts and sprinkles:
Because a few of our group stayed behind for last-minute-work purposes, we took their trays and made boxes for them. Well. I didn’t, because I was too slow. But someone did. And then we had pizza. I ate my chocolate covered pineapples and banana and one of the sponge cakes. The fruit was better. Then I packed up the rest.
Two of us left nearly full boxes in the lunchroom for our very appreciative colleagues. I brought mine home so as to keep the strawberries and caramels and make my mother take the rest to her office.
Win. Win. Win. And I am totally taking the nephew here sometime.
Another Reading Update
Book 27 – The Red House, by Mark Haddon
New one by the guy that wrote The Curious Incident of the Dog in Night-Time. Matriarch dies and the middle aged son decides his family should re-connect with his sister’s family by spending a week together in the country. It was ok. Of the three Haddon books I have read, this was the least engaging for me.
Book 28 – The Weird Sisters, by Eleanor Brown
Matriarch has cancer and three adult sisters come home to “be there” for her. Except that each has her own reasons and her own secrets and I didn’t realize how very book club formulaic this was until just now. College professor with an awesome fiance who doesn’t seem to want to leave her home town. Ever. New York career girl caught up in the glam until she is caught embezzling. Flower child floating along on the breeze until she finds herself knocked up. But it wasn’t a bad read.
Book 29 – American Lion – Andrew Jackson in the White House, by Jon Meacham
Jackson is not at all my favorite president. I get the historical significance of his presidency. Humble beginnings and the War of 1812 and all that. I just kinda think he was an ass. And I seem to recall – from another history – that Davy Crockett also thought he was an ass. So there.
Jackson seemed to prize personal loyalty above all things, which rather disgusts me. While I had heard about the Petticoat Scandal before, I hadn’t known that he banished his niece and nephew (hostess and personal assistant) from the kingdom because the niece refused to include someone in her reindeer games. Seriously.
I remember thinking that my favorite observations of Jackson were those of John Quincy Adams. No surprise there. And then thinking that I really ought to visit The Hermitage sometime.
Book 30 – The Little Book, by Selden Edwards
Middle aged American from the 1980s finds himself in 1897 Vienna. Pretty much all I needed to know to read this one. In 1897 Vienna our hero, Wheeler, runs into his favorite teacher from boarding school, then a very young man. Then he meets his father – who died at the hands of the Germans in WWII. So Wheeler and Dad are lost in time together.
I don’t love time travel stuff as a rule. But when I read it, I am most interested in the world in which time travel exists. What are the rules and who gets to do it? Wheeler’s father, Dilly, said that he was being tortured by the Germans and tried to sort of Think of a Happy Place or whatever and landed in 1897 Vienna. Well, that must have been the moment of his death in 1944. So how did Wheeler get there?
The book didn’t quite give me all of the answers that I wanted, and I am not at all sure that we needed the insert the grandma storyline. But I really enjoyed reading this one and will probably read the sequel (or prequel or whatever) if it lands in my lap.
Book 31 – The Angel’s Game, by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Next novel from the guy that wrote The Shadow of the Wind. Not as good, but it is written in the same world and has a lot of the same feel. it is a bit of a mess in that the mystery doesn’t resolve itself well. This is partly that the hero is half crazy, so there is the element of “can you trust the storyteller?” as experienced in Drood, an earlier read this year.
I understand there is one more book in this “series”, and I am sure I will get to it.
Books 32 – 35 – More Deborah Knott novels, by Margaret Maron
Now Judge Knott is married with a stepson. In one novel, the ex-wife is murdered. Convenient. Now the stepson lives with the newlyweds creating more familial subplots. While I generally prefer subplots with the brothers, the kid isn’t too terribly distracting. These four books caught me up to the plot of the Christmas novel I read last year, so I have one book left in this series. Until Maron writes some more.
Orphans of the Storm – 2013 Pooch Parade
Due to The Incident, I had to cancel a trip to St Louis with my nephew. So I was available for yesterday’s Pooch Parade, and my doctor cleared me for it. This was the 7th Annual 2-Mile Walk to raise funds for Orphans of the Storm, the no-kill shelter where I adopted the Late Great Dallas. Fiona and I participated last year, and had a great time.
There was a set up in the picnic area with breakfast and lots of raffle prizes. Fiona kept steering me in there, scavenging for dropped pieces of bagel.
We met several dogs available for adoption. The volunteers were calling this one Half-Pint, but I am not sure that is the real name. Very friendly dog, happy to meet people and other pets:
This is Kelly. We were walking with her for a while and she didn’t seem to be pulling on the leash. And right after we took this pic, she lay down for belly rubs:
The GSD in front is not available for adoption (I took the pic because Fiona has a thing for GSDs) but Emiilio, standing behind, is available:
Sonny has a bit of a sad story, according to the Facebook page – he was adopted from Orphans, then his person lost him. Five months later, he was found, but his person had gotten a new dog and couldn’t take him back! So Orphans is going to find his real forever home:
Coopers Way, a dog treat company in Glenview, had a table selling all-natural jerky treats. 50% of the proceeds went to Orphans, so we went in for a bag:
By the time we finished the walk, Fiona was good and ready to leave, so we called it a day. Orphans did not have a final count on the fundraising, but they were already very pleased with the turnout. It was a beautiful day for it!
Again With the Cupcakes
I was wandering around the old neighborhood in Park Ridge – that would be my old office neighborhood – and marveling at all of the new stuff. I was stopped in my tracks when I saw a cupcakery: Mrs. A’s Cupcakes and Cookies. So I went in, determined to buy only two.
I asked the nice lady behind the counter: which was her favorite? Yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting. Which is also my favorite. “But you were looking to try something different?” Yes. She said the Red Velvet was the most popular, but she suggested the Salted Caramel or the Lemon. Sold.
Before you say Ew!, the lady asked if it would bother me if the cakes touched and I told her it would not. I brought them home to share with my mother, Kay, but couldn’t decide which one I wanted, so I cut them in half. The salted caramel was a yellow cake with cream cheese frosting and salted caramel on top. Kay determined it was tasty, but not necessary to the universe of cupcakes. I thought I would have matched salted caramel with some kind of chocolate – either cake or frosting. We agreed that the cake part was extremely good. Kay decided that swapping the frosting with Betty Crocker in the can would improve it to near perfection.
The lemon was a yellow cake that seemed to have a lemony flavor, but the frosting was where the lemon really came out. I loved it. Lighter than the average buttercream, which is appropriate for a lemon flavor. Kay agreed that it was the better of the flavors, but still seemed skeptical about the frosting.
The cost was pretty standard for the industry – just under $3.00 for the standard cupcakes and just over $3.00 for the specialities. These were both specialities. They also do cakes, cookies and events. I imagine I will be back again some time.
Perspective
Part of my short term treatment is self-administered shots. Not pleasant. They are the same shots, actually, that I gave my mother a couple of years ago after she had surgery. To prevent the condition that I have now, incidentally. I remember having a hard time believing that she couldn’t manage to give them to herself. She reminded me that I was squeamish about giving Vitamin B shots to the dog. Point.
Tangent – I did a whole bunch of anecdotal research on this phenomenon and found that everyone has a different combination of self/other people/pets where they they thought they could or could not manage to give injections of medication. I felt much better. Anyway.
I remember whining on Facebook about having to give these shots to my mother. And demanding sympathy. My Facebook friends came through with all kinds of sympathy. In fact, the first two responders were:
B, whose mother had recently been diagnosed with early onset dementia. And whose father had been diagnosed with lung cancer. And:
A, who is a cancer survivor and has been giving himself injections ever since.
Woohoo!
So tonight, as I was breaking out the syringe and alcohol wipes, I told myself that this is temporary. And I am grateful.
Diagnosis
It started with a surgery that is a story for another day. Sunday morning, six weeks post op, I went downstairs to let the dogs out and open the bird room as I do every morning. Suddenly, I felt light-headed and went to sit down on the floor by the kitchen door. Because I have hypochondriac tendencies, I argue with myself every time I feel sick. I ran through the things that could be wrong with me. Pulmonary embolism, a blood clot to the lung, came to mind. Also, it is not unusual for me to pass out when I have a panic attack. I blacked out somewhere between the landing on my staircase and my mother’s bedroom door.
Like every other time I have ever passed out, I came to a minute later with my head back on straight so we went about our day. By mid-morning, at the dog park, I decided that I was getting winded when I really shouldn’t. Sinuses, I thought. If I don’t shake it off by morning, I will go to the doctor. So Monday morning, I went to the doctor. Who sent me to a Radiology Lab for a Chest CT. Which called an ambulance and sent me to the ER.
Two blood clots on my lungs. And some strain to my heart trying to push them through.
After calling my mother and my boss, I messaged my friend T who went through it a year ago. I asked her to tell me everything she knew. Her story was close enough to mine to make me feel better pretty quickly – she is fine now. (Thank you, T.) This seems to fall into the category of Serious and Freakin’ Scary, but Fixable.
So – three nights in the hospital to monitor and start building up blood thinners in my system. My heart rate, oxygen and temp were normal the entire time. I was discharged today, I see my PCP tomorrow and might get back to work as soon as next week. I have several months of “therapeutic meds” in my future, but there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage. I daresay I was pretty lucky.
Blankets 37 – 49
Hm. Seems to have been a long time. And all I have today is a log of Project Linus blankets:
I couldn’t begin to recall the yarn I used for the fleece blankets, but the granny square blanket below was Red Heart with Love yarn in True Blue, Aran and …Forest Green?
And this granny square was Caron Simply Soft in Light Country Blue, Country Blue and Dark Country Blue.
And this was Caron Simply Soft in..something berry and lavender something and.. and off white color.
Wyoming
I was in Wyoming for a conference last week. Why would we have a conference in Wyoming? Because two years ago, the people from Wyoming offered, and I sorta shouted, “I’ve never been to Wyoming! I would love to go there!” And the rest of the room nodded in agreement and then we took it to a vote. Eight of us flew in on Friday and did a full day tour – some of Yellowstone and some of Teton National Park. The weather was cold and rainy, but it was still gorgeous. Here are some pics.
Blankets 34 -36 2013
We’ve had several Project Linus events going on and coming up, so here are my most recent blankets. We begin with my first granny square blanket ever:
The yarn is Lion Brand’s Vanna White Baby yarn in Little Boy Blue and Lamb. The last row is a simple double crochet, inasmuch as I was desperately running out of yarn. When I turned it in last Monday, the ladies all said that my stitches were even, which I guess is how one judges the work. So I was very happy. Next we have single crochet with Caron Soft yarn in…red and black.
And finally, a Superman fleece panel that I hadn’t gotten to the month before. Edged in Red Heart Bright Yellow.
For those in the area, Culver’s Restaurant in Buffalo Grove is having a fundraiser for my chapter of Project Linus this coming Thursday, May 16. I will be there after work!
The Next Dark Age 