Scattered Thoughts that are Sorta Year in Review

More than once over the past weeks, the writer John Scalzi has noted that what makes 2016 a particular flaming trash heap (or is it just “dumpster fire”..is there a consensus on the term yet?) is that it all started out very hopeful.

True.

Personally, I’d been feeling a bit stuck for awhile, but hopeful that I was breaking out of it. And 2016 was a lesson about quicksand – the more you struggle, the faster you sink.

That’s an exaggeration. I haven’t been sinking. I’ve been struggling with the idea that I’m Not Doing Enough. And the more I Do, the more I see there Is to Do and I am just not satisfied.  It is a very bad trap and The Election made it worse.

Side Note: If this really is the end of the world as we know it, this past election will be The Election the same way 1986 was The Super Bowl.

Meet more people. Learn (and relearn) the issues. Get out into the community. Do more to earn my paycheck. Support more causes.

It occurred to me at the bar on NYE that “drink more vodka” somehow hadn’t made the cut in 2016.

The most frustrating conversation I had with a Trump voter was while talking about Chicago and Springfield. When I said, “OK, so what is the answer? What do we do?” He said, “There isn’t anything we can do. So I’m taking care of my own family and that’s it.”  I can’t live with that.

Grateful.  Purposeful.  Kind.  Inclusive.  I’m not doing anything particularly well because I’ve spread myself thin.  I am reminded of a conversation I once had where a friend noted that he thinks he wants time alone but is actually happiest when he is busy and I laughed because I think I want to GoGoGo but am really happiest when I am drinking coffee and reading.

The thing is, Election Day was a game changer.  I don’t have the answers but I know I can’t be sitting out the next rounds.  I’m going to have to work on balance.  Scott Smith, who is one of my favorite people to follow on Twitter, had a great thought (the second one..I still can’t make this Embed Twitter thing work properly):

“We’ve got this,” is going to be my 2017 mantra.

Volunteering with Chicago Cares

I’d been in a bit of a rut with volunteering.  I’ve been working toward some certification exams and my travel schedule has been hectic and two scheduled weekly volunteer gigs were suffering.  I felt like I couldn’t be counted on, which is the opposite of what volunteering should be.  I made a couple of changes and I am liking this new thing enough to talk about it.

I forget where I first saw Chicago Cares, but I’m sure Twitter had something to do with it.  It is an organization that partners with local programs to coordinate and promote volunteer opportunities.  Programs are vetted, volunteer leaders are trained, and opportunities are posted online in a calendar for people to sign up and participate.

The events are posted in a calendar form and can be sorted by type, but I just looked at the whole month.  On whatever random day that was, I saw an event that evening for volunteers to bring their dogs to a senior living center to socialize with residents.  I clicked in, figuring the dog would have to be therapy certified, which I am too lazy to do.  But, no.  Just a friendly dog with proof of vaccinations.

I emailed my vet, who sent me a pdf of Fiona’s vaccination record.  I registered on the website and signed up for the event the same day.  I was a little bit worried because I was new and I wasn’t 100% sure how Fiona would do with wheelchairs and walkers, but she was great.  We signed up for a similar event at a rehab center a few weeks later.

Then I decided to try something different and have done two events working with – or maybe just entertaining – kids.  Dog not included.  It is so easy to just get online, see what is available for any given day and sign up.  You know the only thing that is difficult?  The slots fill up so fast!

Chicago Cares has been tweeting that they are partnering with fifty new non-profits, so I expect there will be plenty more opportunities for one-shot volunteering with organizations all across the city.  Maybe in your own neighborhood, maybe getting out and seeing other neighborhoods.  It’s like the video says, we should be taking care of each other.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/164622761″>The Heart of a Volunteer by Chicago Cares</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/chicagocares”>Chicago Cares</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

 

 

Women Hold Up Half the Sky

A couple of weeks ago, I received a program in the mail for a special exhibition at the Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center.  It is called Women Hold Up Half the Sky, and is based on the work Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn highlighted in their book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity.  I read the book and loved it several years ago.  The exhibition opened today with a keynote by Lisa Madigan, so I went over to take a look.  Madigan was speaking at 2pm, so I figured I would check out the exhibit, stand in the back of the room while she spoke and book out as soon as she was finished.

Not so much.

I arrived shortly after 11am and the place was nearly empty.  It seemed that they really didn’t want people in the special exhibition until after the event.  As it happens, I hadn’t actually visited the Illinois Holocaust Museum yet..even though it is practically in my backyard.  Yes, I am ashamed of myself.  I went in and am very glad that I did.

To state the obvious, it is smaller and has fewer artifacts than the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.    It felt somewhat less overwhelming, but rather more personal.  Skokie, you see.  Those are our people.  I could still hear the voices from one video interview as I walked on toward the next, which seemed very natural.  There is an awful lot to read, if you have the time.  The lady at the front desk suggested it would take an hour or so to go through and I took more than two.  I also didn’t bring any Kleenex.

When I finished the main exhibit, I went downstairs to grab a cold drink and read my book.  The crowd started to arrive – there  were actual shuttles to the overflow parking lot, so people came in big groups.

The room was packed.  The program started with the usual Thank Yous and acknowledging sponsors.  Lisa Madigan spoke only briefly, but noted that the fight against domestic violence and human trafficking is also very local.  Chicago is one of the U.S. hubs.  One in five women in the U.S. will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime and one in four will be physically abused.  Then she pulled out the same program I had been mailed and noted that it contained the names of local organizations working on behalf of women and they have plenty of ways for us to get involved.

I’d had enough of the crowd, so I didn’t go through the actual exhibition today.  But I became a member of the museum and will be going back soon.  There are several more programs and panels running over the next few months and I plan to make the time.

half-the-sky

You can find more details, including that list of partners, at the website of the  Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center.

I am going to hug my dog now.

 

 

Singleton Travel

I am a single woman and I like to travel.  Nothing too exotic so far, just the usual places on everyone’s bucket list.  Because the world is big and I only have so much vacation time (and there are several places I return to again and again), the decision factors are Cost and Safety.  Tour groups are great for safety if you are going someplace for the first time, but the “single supplement” often makes it cost prohibitive.  The hospitality industry has made great strides in catering to singletons, but it is still easier to manage travel in pairs.  In fact, there are a couple of tour groups that were created to solve this problem – they manage guided tours for women and will hook you up with a traveling partner.  I still might do that someday.

Last winter, my friend K posted a question on Facebook:

Can a single woman go to the Caribbean for Spring Break and feel safe without spending a fortune?  There was a really good discussion thread that concluded..not really.  I lamented that she is on a school district schedule, or I’d invite her to winter vacation with me.  But late February is as long as I can wait before getting cabin fever in Chicago.

This past Spring, I decided to plan a trip to Europe and I immediately thought of K.  We went to high school together, and I can’t say we were particularly tight; “inside school friends” as opposed to “neighborhood friends”.  But I’ve always liked her and she has the same problem I have and she lives in the next town over and why in hell haven’t I seen her in 20 years?

So I sent her a message with my thinking and asked if she wanted to have coffee and talk it over.  She agreed and we met on a Sunday at the coffee shop in our hometown.

We didn’t shut up for three hours.

Then we traded messages about places we thought we’d want to go and found plenty of common ground.  We found flights and hotels and sketched out an itinerary.  We’re going to do this.

I really love Facebook.

 

Discussing Gun Control and Other Important Matters

At a conference last week, I walked in to the hospitality suite to find a group watching Fox News. I almost turned around and left. Somehow, I landed in a discussion about gun control that led to my feverishly Googling for statistics on my phone while my friend Tim did the same on his. I couldn’t find the chart I wanted, so I asked Facebook.

The immediate response from my friends was Get. Out. Of that. Discussion. But Bill found it for me:

 

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Then my friend Steve, a conservative and a scholar, asked me to consider this one:

 

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Which, of course, did not help my argument.

I went several rounds with Tim that night over statistics and several more with Steve the next day on a topic where people are unbelievably entrenched. With Tim, I had to concede that you can generally find statistics to prove anything you want. With Steve, I had to concede that statistics generally don’t prove Cause and Effect. But I left both of those discussions feeling good and believing that there are plenty of people on the other side of this issue that are also trying to be thoughtful and realistic and engaged. Here are my conclusions:

  1. We should all do a better job of doing our homework and considering different points of view.  This isn’t going to get resolved in one conversation, or with one new law. It’s going to take lots of conversations to hash out.  It is going to take some compromise.  And there might be unintended consequences to address.
  2. We will only be able to do that if we believe that we are all in this together.  Acting in good faith.

Sometime online, during the election primaries, I was on a thread about how the world is not going to end if “the other one” is elected.  No one is really moving to Canada and Texas isn’t actually going to secede from the Union.  We’d better find a way to work things out.